I am Not Depressed

Do not fear, my one concerned reader. I am no longer depressed. It was just a breif moment of despair that was composed of not having enough food, coffee, friends or communication. All better now. Each one of those contributing factors was taken care of with the form of coffee, cherios, dinner with my roommate and some classmates and talking on facebook and to my friend at Naz.
Just a breif moment of freaking out. I'm cool now, really. Don't worry. Well, not cool, but I'm no longer depressed. I've never been cool. haha... see, even laughing. If another depression comes later on tomorrow, I will know exactly how to take care of it...but it won't. I'm sure. Apparently I just have to keep introducing myself to people and being bold. Bold is good.

Okay...whew....deep breath. We're fine. Just freaked out for a minute there. It's all okay.... just had a moment. We're done now. Whew....deep breaths.

I am sitting here in my dorm room, alone, while my roommate is off with her friend from school and the other roommate is with her boyfriend. I know absolutely no one. It is horrible. It seems like almost everyone here has friends already or at least someone to talk to that they know a little bit. I am very depressed. Hopefully it will go away. I didn't even want to come here. Why did I even choose this school? Classes were okay, I guess...they could have been better though... For a person who has had only two best friends, one for 10 years and the other for 8, deciding to venture out on my own for the first time in...well...ever was not a good plan. It is an awful plan. I am not a loner. I like talking to people. Hopefully this changes. For now, I am going to do self-therapy in the form of honey nut cherios, coffee, and a movie. Yipee for me.

I was such an idiot to go to a college where I know absolutely no one. It sucks.

Freshman 15

So, you know how you're supposed to gain 15 pounds as a new Freshman...well...I don't think that will be an issue for me. First off, the campus is really huge. Like a mile from end to end. And my dorm is at one end. And all my classes are at the other. Secondly, I have missed all meals since arriving. I had lunch with my family at Friendly's, and then they left for home. There was a barbaque from 5:00-7:00, but I didn't really feel like going to that, so I figured I would just go to one of the many dining halls. Turns out they were closed. So I had Triscut's for dinner. With M&M's for dessert.
Breakfast. Yummy. I bought instant oatmeal at the store the other day, or so I thought. Turns out, not so instant. It was actual oatmeal, the kind you have to boil to get it to a consistancy that is actally edible. I had 2 Triscuts for breakfast.
I was just getting ready to go to lunch (at my mother's command- who knew she would have power over me here?!?), literally just walking out the door, when a OSA (someone who helps out at "Welcome Weekend" knocked on the door and said there was a meeting or something in ten minutes. By the time it got out, the cafeterias' had closed. I had Triscut's for lunch too. So, now, it is almost dinner time and I will finally be able to check out the campus diner, and get some real food. Thank god.

Not so Socially Awkward...

So my roommate moved in. She is nice, very exuberant, but still nice. One of my suitemates moved out this morning. Apparently her mother and father wanted her to come here, but she wasn't thrilled to go. She was crying all night and she left this morning. I guess she is dropping out.
So...new roommate eventually. That should be exciting. Hopefully. Hopefully we don't get one of those "problem people" who have to be moved out of another room because they create a disturbance. I'm hoping that we just get one of those "un tripled people".
Anyhow, college is going good. It's really hard sometimes because I know absolutely one person here. And I don't even know him well at all. So, basically, I'm on my own. But it's getting better. We had one of our first official "classes" today with a group of students who are also going into teaching, and real classes start on Monday. Hopefully then I will meet some people.

Socially Awkward

Okay, so. Sitting here in my dorm room. Doing nothing. Move in was today, went okay. My roommate isn't here yet. My suitemates are. They're okay. But, I know absolutely no one here, and thus, feel very socially awkward...very... I feel like just going to bed. It sucks. If I walk around myself, not only will I look like a freak, but I will also be, as my mother says it, "unsafe". So, I'm just sitting here in my dorm room typing away while listening to my roommates talk in the other room.
Am I really socially awkward? Messed up? or is this just normal?

Still Sitting Here

I forgot to say: I'm going to SUNY Brockport, majoring in English, and hope to be an International Teacher someday, eventually... hopefully 4 years from this point, actually.

Here We Go Again

So I'm sitting here on the rock wall outside my house with my laptop (which is currently tuned into my next door neighbors wireless connection) and a glass of peach smoothie that my sister and I made. She is currenly playing in the sprinkler. I know, laptop's and sprinklers, not a good mix...don't worry, I'm keeping an eye on her.
I'm heading off to college in a few weeks (actually less than 3, how scary is that???) and I figured that I will need something to vent into while I'm going through all my crazy transtion into college life and all.
I already had a blog, somewhere on this website, once. But I've forgotten the password. I know that I wrote it down somewhere, but I cannot remember where. Don't you love how that always happens?
Well- now I'm inside. The uberly hot day that it was decided that it needed a cooldown and thus commenced to pour rain. I'm now on the couch.
So, anyway, college. Yeah, scary thought. I have absolutely no idea what to expect going into this, I mean, no one does. We've never done it before. It's kind of like going into kindergarden again. Like their holding your hand walking you to the bus and making sure your teacher is nice. Only we aren't coloring, and there is no lines to color inside of. It's scary. We are adults now... I don't want to be an adult yet. I'm only 18.
Changes are already happening. I feel like I'm drifting further and further away from my friends, who are not going to the same college as me. One is going all the way to Indiana. Oh, yeah, I live in upstate NY. NOT New York City, for all those non New-Yorkers out there.
As much as I hope that my friends and I are going to make it through the transition into college, I know that chances are slim. That's kind of sad. I've known them forever.
But still, college is exciting. My roommates seem pretty cool. I hope I like them, I hope they like me. God, I feel like a little kid again. Isn't that wierd?